Loosly Based on
by Shazi-Chan
Summary: anything and everything that i come across that i've associated with kingdom hearts...
1. Xigbars Eye

_Now there are hundred of theories about this, we all know the only person who know the truth is Nomura but hey, he likes speculation on these kinds of things. Anywho, this is my thoughts on how Xigbar lost his eye._

How Xigbar Lost His Eye

_Xigbar: _ okay, this story is like totally true. This is how I lost my eye.

Dilan (Xaldin) and I were little, like 6 year old little, and like Ansem the wise was running tests on child behaviour. This was when he was before he went kukoo and tested on darkness and what not.

His test subjects were me and Dilan. He got us to do kids stuff like play games and other really random stuff.

He got us to draw out favourite weapon, and I was drawing these like totally awesome guns and Dilan: lame ass spears dude.

Here's like a recording of that day.

_Click….._

_Briag: _dude those spears are lame

_Dilan: _Not as lame as your guns

_Briag: _they are not lame, check it out.

_Briag rustles his piece of paper about_

_Briag: _see, this is the trigger and , like, these things are totally awesome the shoot out like PEW! PEW! PEW!

_Dilan: _I don't care…. They're still lame.

_Briag: _NOOOOO!!! They are not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag: _Are Not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag: _Are Not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag: _Are Not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag: _Are Not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag: _Are Not!

_Dilan: _Are too!

_Briag:_ Are Not! Not! Not! Not! Not! Not!

_Dilan: _Shut up!

_A horrific squelching sound is heard, followed by some kind of inhuman wailing._

_Dilan: _Master Ansem!

_Briag is wailing in the back ground footstep and a door opening is heard._

_Ansem: _Dilan what in the name of…

_Dilan: He was annoying me_

_Ansem: _So you stabbed him in the eye with a pencil!?

_Dilan: _he's not annoying me any more is he?

_Ansem: _come now Briag everything's going to be alright.

_The door opens again and Briag's wailing become distant._

_Dilan: _Guns are lame anyway.

Click…

_Xaldin: _I remember that. Those guns were horrible.

_Xigbar: _No they weren't they were totally awesome!

_Xaldin: _Compared the ones you own now they were.

_Xigbar: _Touché mi compadre

_Xaldin: _Isn't it nice since we settled out differences.

_There's a long pause._

_Xaldin: _I am sorry about the eye.


	2. Vexen and Science

_A/N: okay, the doodles in my margins have inspired me to write another series of one-shots. Not quite as extensive and time consuming as UTM, but none the less just as amusing to read… I hope…intelligent little children aren't they?_

_Vexen: _I do remember my very first scientific endeavor. I put a Mentos into some Coke.

_Lexaeus:_ Endeavor? Vexen your were 6

_Vexen:_ And it was in a scientific quest none the less. Did you not see my adorable over sized lab coat and safety glasses? It was very convincing.

_Lexaeus:_ …

_Vexen_: That's what I thought.

_Lexaeus:_ just play the recording

…_Click_

_Chirping birds are heard_

_Even: _Look Elaeus.

_The sound of a Mentos being dropped into a test tube is heard, followed by fizzing._

_Elaeus: _Awesome!

_Even: _What're you doing?

_Elaeus: _Building a fortress. I've criss-crossed the bricks for extra strength.

_Even: _Most interesting.

_Elaeus: _Indeed!

_Man: _Even what do you think you're doing?

_Even whimpers_

_Even: _Father?

_(Man) Father:_ Put that down right now!

_Even: _But I'm playing Scientist…

_Woman (mother): _Darling let him play Scientist…

_Father: _No, Even will not grow up to bee a sissy scientist like that no good Ienzo, he will be a good many builder like Elaeus will.

_Even: _But father…

_A smashing sound is heard._

_Even: _I hate you!

_A child's footsteps fade away._

_Mother: _Now look what you've done.

_A woman's footsteps fade away._

_Father: _What a sissy.

_A man's footsteps fade away._

_Elaeus: _poor Even

…_click_

_Vexen: _ Whatever happened to your aspirations of building?

_Lexaeus: _Whatever I did, your father found it manly.

_Vexen: _thank you kindly dear friend, I always wondered why it was you were suddenly interested in science, and why my father had that sudden change of heart.

_Lexaeus:_ Not at all my friend. I have found the joy in science.


	3. I'm Besaidian

This is like the third time I've changed the title of this story… anywho, now instead of just the Organisation I've decided to just make it a collection of really random things I think of… mostly on the bus or in maths XD I was listening to the 'My musical' soundtrack from scrubs and came up with a few random things that's I'll upload, eventually…

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or this song. (from Scrubs)

**I'm Besaidian**

_Lulu_

Wakka

**Clasko**

_I've had it up to here_

_So let me make it very clear_

_Because I swear I'll never clue you in again_

_Every time that you profess I come from Kilika_

Yes?

_For the last time Wakka I'm Besaidian_

Don't make a big to do

I was simply testing you

_Than why'd you tell Tidus our baby's a beastrouch_

Babe you know I know the truth

_Well I need a little proof_

_So list all you know about me or no sex again_

Let's see,

Your name is lulu

_Yes_

You are an islander

_Impressive_

You're a mage, your mother's dead

Wait… I got it, 3 summoners

Wakka

2 summoners?

Well I'm sure at times you're a huge jerk off

_Tell me what's my middle name?_

Ok I'm tire of this game

Let's forget it I give up I guess you win again

But it's not just me who gets mixed up by all this crazy ethnic stuff

**Sorry, even I know, she's Besaidian**

_Did I grow up in Bevelle or was it Zanerkand?_

_How long before we met was I a guardian?_

_Was our wedding song the Fayth or was it Macalaninan?_

_Am I freaking Kilikan or Besaidian?_

The thing is guys, remember facts

Like what Guardo Glories scored last year which was 3-0-3

And that is why our brain are maxed

And there no room for things like birthdays or ethnicity

_Well thank you for that glimpse into the workings of the inner man_

Let's talk about your job and not the fact that you're

_Besaidian!_

You're not staying home from work

_Will that make you happy Wakka?_

I'll support you if you choose you earn some gil again

_Then I'll return to work today_

_Now you're sure that that's okay_

I say ouc which is yes in Al Bhed

_Wakka!_

But you're Besaidian.

XOXO

That actually took a surprising amount of thinking… I had to work out what to replace things with, and I know it's not completely in time with the actual song and bits and pieces don't rhyme, but I tried really hard! Review please I've had this in my head for a while now.

Originally it was going to be Riku and Lulu performing in musical, but this one worked better, that and Lulu isn't even in KH (why the hell not?)


	4. Guy Love

Another one from scrubs my musical… it just seemed to fit so completely for them. Not so much changing in this one because it was almost perfect to begin with.

_**Guy Love**_

**Sora**

_Riku_

_**Both**_

**Let's face the facts about me and you**

**A love unspecified**

**Though I'm proud to call you Riku bear**

**The crowd will always talk and stare**

_I feel exactly those feelings too_

_And that's why I keep them inside_

_Cause this bear, can't bare the world's distain_

_And sometimes it's easier to hide_

_**Than explain our…**_

_**Guy love**_

_**That's all it is**_

_**Guy love**_

_**He's mine I'm his**_

_**There's nothing gay about it in our eyes**_

_You ask me bout this thing we share_

**And he tenderly replies**

_Its guy love_

_**Between two guy**_

_We're closer than the average man and wife_

**That's why our matching bracelets say**

**Sora and Riku**

_You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life_

**You're the only man who's ever been inside of me**

_Whoa… I just tried to rip out his heart_

**There's no need to clarify**

_Oh no_

**Just let it grow more and more each day**

**It's like I married my best friend**

_But in a totally manly way_

_**Let's go!**_

_**Its guy love**_

_**Don't compromise**_

_**The feeling of some other guy**_

_**Holding up you're heart into the sky**_

**I'll be there to care through all the lows**

_I'll be there to share the highs_

**Its guy love**

_**Between two guys**_

**And when I say**

**I love you Riku**

**It's not what it implies**

_**Its guy love, between two guys**_

XOXO

Disclaimer: I don't own scrubs… more specifically I don't own this song… it's not is it now…


	5. Bumper Buddies

_**Bumper buddies**_

Xion

**Sora**

_Xehanort_

_**Maleficent**_

Xehanort, I'm not crazy

_Am I still singing?_

Singing like a bird

**Xehanort huge news**

**I pulled some strings**

**And got the parking spot right behind your**

**Bumper buddies!**

_Still, you're nearly as bad as her_

_Do you know how much you annoy me?_

_The answer is a lot_

_Should I list the reasons why?_

_Well I don't see why not_

_It's your hair your nose your chinless face_

_You always need a hug_

_Not to mention all the manly appltinis that you chug_

_That you think I am you're mentor_

_Just continues to perplex_

_And oh my god stop telling me when you have nerdy sex_

**Oh but the way last time Kairi was in town, we bought some appltinis and poured 'em on our good parts.**

_See now keyboy that's the thing you do_

_That drives me up a tree_

_Cause no matter how I rant at you _

_You never let me be_

_So I'm stuck with all you're daydreaming_

_And your wish to be my son_

_It makes me suicidal_

_And I'm not the only one_

_No I'm not the only one_

_**It all started, with a key blade in a hole**_

_**There was a hatred I had never felt before**_

_**So now I'll make him pay**_

_**Each and every day**_

_**Until that spiked haired key blade nuisance is no more**_

_So now that is why I call you names like Garnet, Fran and Fuu_

_Like Rinoa, Lenne and Yuffie_

_And Larxene and Olette too_

_See regardless of the names I pick_

_My feelings are quite clear_

_You're a pain in everyday_

_Of every month_

_Of every year_

Xehanort you gotta help me

Coz I really and distress

Can't you find another option?

Won't you run another test?

_If you want some kind of favour_

_Really any kind of favour_

_Just get me peace and quite_

_From this godforsaken pest_

**What I think my bumper buddy is trying to say is…**

Shut you're cake hole Aerith

Or I swear to god I'll shut it soon

_Congratulations_

_We'll schedule your test this afternoon_

XOXO

Random yeah I know, I have one for almost every song on that episode (I'm completely obsessed with Kingdom Hearts and Scrubs XD)

Disclaimer: I don't own Scrubs or kingdom hearts…


	6. Welcome to Kingdom Hearts

this probably should have been before all the scrubs ones but hell, I don't really care I put them up in order I thought of them.

Disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts or scrubs... unless you count my copies of kingdom hearts 1 and 2 and collection of scrubs dvds

_**Welcome to Kingdom Hearts!**_

Ansem

Sora

Kairi

Riku

Xehanort

Maleficent

**All**

**Ansem:**

Hello I'm Master Mnsem

I'm delighted that you came

So the doctors say you've fainted

And you don't know what's to blame

Well put your mind at ease

There's no ill we cannot smart

On bahalf of all who work here

Welcome to Kingdom Hearts

**Sora:**

Our Facilites are excellent

You couldn't ask for more

**Maleficent:**

As long as you avoid the bathrooms

On the second floor

**Ansem**

This is Xehanort

I'll be giving him your chart

**Xehanort:**

And that's Master Ansem

The kiss ass of Kingdom Hearts

**Riku:**

You say you've burned your hand

Feel bad

We'll fix you up with gauze

**Kairi:**

Perhaps you need your fat sucked out

Or want a smaller schnoz

**Ansem:**

Caught an STD

From some tasty little tart

**We swear**

**We won't judge you**

**Here in Kingdom**

**Here in Kingdom**

**Here in Kingdom Heart!**

**Ansem:**

One more thing that i should mention

If what i've heard is true

And everyone appears

To be singing to you

Your case is very serious

And we better start

**cause if you think we're singing**

**You belong in kingdom hearts!**

**Heartless!**

**Unversed!**

**Nobodies!**

**Bad Guys!**

**Welcome to Kingdom Hearts**


End file.
